Jhames

Designer, writer, activist, muse, bodhisattva.

› Design › Frequently Asked Questions

Photolog

You have questions, I have answers, it’s a win-win.

Can you work with me if I live far, far away?

Do you have a computer? High-speed internet access? A phone? Me too.

Can I afford your services?

Probably not. If you are not willing to spend money on the success of your company, then you shouldn’t be hiring anyone to do anything for you. If you approach me by saying that you have specific needs that fall under a set budget, then I can easily provide you with a list of services that I can provide you for x amount of dollars.

How do you charge for your services?

I can either bill you per hour or provide a flat fee for my work. Keep in mind that I will have you sign a contract before beginning any work, and you will receive a thorough list of details that are provided by my services. Some projects are easily doable for a set amount of money, whereas some projects require hourly billing. Contact me about your design needs, and we can talk about cost and billing.

Can we work together without a contract?

A contract protects all parties from events or factors that could affect timeline and project schedule. Time is money for everyone, and a contract works to protect the value of your time just as much as it does mine. So no.

Can we barter for your services?

Sure. I’ll design your website in exchange for a new Mini Cooper S Convertible. I like the Hyper Blue Body color with black roof and white mirrors. We’ll also need to talk packages and performance, but fret you not, you will love your website as much as I love my new car.

Would you be willing to work pro bono?

Oh my gosh, how precious are you! No. I make my living collecting fees for my services—think of it as the second-oldest profession in the world. I suggest contacting your nearest art college and working with budding designers who need something more in their portfolios than comps cum lorem ipsum.

Can I just ask you a question about my site?

Sure. Will I answer it? Who knows. Want free advice? Talk to your parents.

“Can you make my [product] look like this?”

Did you mistake my website for FedEx Kinko’s? ’Cause this ain’t no production house. If you want to hire me for your design needs, then you are doing so because you have an appreciation of my styles. I will gladly work with you to bring your idea and my talents into a living object, but look to college students or your nearest production company for your reprographic needs.

Can you do [service]?

Take a look at my résumé. If you do not see a skill listed that matches what you are looking for, then chances are good I cannot help you with your needs. If you appreciate a good bulleted list as much as I do, here is a quick list of what I can’t do:

While I cannot provide you with these services, I do work with developers and programmers that have these skills. I do not sub-contract their services, nor will I tack on additional fees for collaborative efforts. If your project requires these services, I will make sure to bring the right people on board.

Are you easy to work with? You sound like a curmudgeon.

If you come to me with a project plan, a budget and you’ve done your homework, then yes, we will get along swimmingly. If you just have an idea and expect me “to roll with it”, then you will be unhappy with the bill you receive from me at the end of the project. Time is money, yo. Also? It’s not nice to call people names.

Can I use your site code to help with my website?

Of course you can. Can you make your site look similar to or exactly like mine? No. Respect the integrity – to say nothing of my blood, sweat and tears – of my work.

Can I republish your articles/designs on my site?

If you copy my work but did not receive my blessing to do so, and I find out, I will not hesitate to hunt you down, drag you from your home, and shave you as bald as a baby’s behind in front of all your friends & neighbors. From head to toe. That or I will go after you with legal action, depending on my mood that day. Who’s to say?

Will you marry me?

I have a waiting list, but a sizeable dowry will certainly improve your chances. Tell me more about yourself and maybe I’ll move you to the front of the line.