Hello, my name is Jhames

Last night I caught a friend’s tweet about “bombing the moon”. Justin mentioned that he saw the same phrasing popping up in his facebook news feed. Neither one of us had any idea that NASA was planning to launch a rocket which will punch a hole in the moon for the purpose of discovering ice—therefore water and life on another planet. Meanwhile, America lacks proper healthcare coverage for its citizens, public schools are devoid of any electives, and low-income families have little or no access to fresh produce. But hey! We may be able to someday live on the moon.

So in honor of NASA and the government spending $79,000,000.00 on a program to blow up the moon, I present two variations of one dough recipe. Because who doesn’t need extra dough in their lives?

For both recipes you want to make sure that you are using active dry yeast, not instant yeast. I strongly recommend using plain ol’ white flour because whole wheat flour will make a heavier crust that sucks up a lot of the moisture in the dough.

When the dough has risen you will need to punch down the dough. Feel free to scream questions like “You spent $79M to blow up a chunk of the moon?” and “How is discovering water on the moon gonna provide national healthcare?” Repeat as necessary. Calm your nerves with a glass of wine.

The directions for preparing pita dough are the same as the pizza dough recipe with the exception that you will need to let the dough rise a second time. But do feel free to continue yelling into the dough about how we just spent $79,000,000.00 to look for water on the moon. And if it is possible for water to exist on the planetoid, transporting water to the moon will cost $50,000.00 per pound.

Pizza Dough Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp evaporated cane juice (or vegan sugar)
• 1 packet active dry yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp if you have a jar of active dry yeast)
• 1 cup warmer than warm water
• 1 tsp salt
• 2 Tbsp + 2 tsp olive oil
• 3 cups bleached white flour

Directions

1. In a medium or large glass bowl, whisk sugar and warm water until sugar has dissolved
2. Add yeast to water: in about ten minutes you should have an activated layer of yeast in the bowl.
3. Add salt, flour and 2 Tbsp olive oil.
4. Gently knead the dough until you have absorbed all the flour in the bowl
5. Form the dough into a ball in the bowl
6. Pour remaining 2 tsp olive oil over the dough ball (you want to coat the dough)
7. Let rise for about an hour or until the dough doubles in size
8. Punch down that dough
9. Flatten dough on a large baking sheet

Tips

• This pizza dough bakes best at 500°F for about 8-10 minutes

Pita Bread Ingredients

• 1 Tbsp evaporated cane juice (or vegan sugar)
• 1 packet active dry yeast (or 2 1/4 tsp if you have a jar of active dry yeast)
• 1 1/4 cups warmer than warm water
• 1 1/2 tsp salt
• 2 Tbsp + 2 tsp olive oil
• 3 1/2 cups bleached white flour

Directions

1. Let the dough rise for an about an hour then divide the dough into 16 balls. Just continue to half the dough balls until you reach 16.
2. Allow these balls to rise for 20-30 minutes, then roll each ball flat on lightly-floured surface.
3. Preheat the oven to 400°F.
4. Invert a baking sheet or pan on a baking rack in the oven. This is your surface for baking the pita bread. You should be able to bake 2 pita at a time.
5. Bake each pita for 4 minutes. You will notice that not every piece of pita will rise, but don’t worry as the bread will quickly deflate as it cools.

Tips

• Serve the pita warm with fresh hummus (recipe forthcoming).

NASA launched the rocket and it hit the moon. It will be weeks before scientists are able to determine what, if any, form of water was dislodged from the impact. If my eyes rolled back any further I’d be weeks ahead of schedule for my Halloween costume.