In my family we were raised to never discuss sex, religion or politics as a rule of proper etiquette. Living on the west coast has exposed me to total strangers asking me, no sooner after we exchange our first hellos, who I am voting for in the 2008 election. Needless to say, I make it a point to avoid their company. If you don’t want me to point out that your outfit was put together by a mentally retarded adult in a closet without any source of light, then don’t get all up in mah grill about my political views.
Let’s have a come to Jesus, people. If you drive a car, you have no business displaying bumper stickers protesting Iraq. If you oppose human rights violations, you shouldn’t support companies like Nike that still do not provide living wages to all their employees. If you vehemently despise the religious right, you would never set foot inside Urban Outfitters. The point is, we’re all hypocrites. So swallow the bitter pill and spread a little tolerance around. Remember that word tolerance? That’s what some of you do when standing in line next to someone wearing clothes from The Gap. That’s how I practice tolerance. Anyway. While you’re at it, try having a sense of perspective.
My friends call me vegan, but true vegans wouldn’t agree because I eat honey*. I also wear leather shoes. And I have an Italian leather sofa. And one of my favorite Prada jackets has a raccoon fur collar. But you know what? Nobody likes raccoons when they’re in your neighborhood eating feral cats. Plus I look totes hotttt. Four Ts.
Personally, I don’t want to live where everybody thinks the same. That kind of shit is boring and I need boring like I need a fucking hipster parade outside my window every hour on the hour. If people want to vote for Obama or McCain, that’s their business. Personally, I voted for Ralph Nader. The world will continue to exist after Tuesday, and while some people will be ecstatic at the results, others won’t share that excitement. Given time, the world will continue and people will live their lives. It’s not as if anyone is actually start a revolution. Lazy sons of bitches.
*Vegans are not supposed to eat honey since bees are smoked out of their hives in order for humans to retrieve the honey from the combs, and this apparently is animal cruelty. BUT IT’S TOTALLY OKAY TO STAB A TREE WITH A LONG METAL TUBE TO EXTRACT ITS SAP FOR BOILING.