The idea of legalized marriage for gay and lesbian couples offends your sensitivities. Know what offends my sensitivities?

• People who wear UGGs and Crocs.
• People that can’t spell.
• People that can’t tell the difference between “your” and “you’re”
• Hipsters. Fucking hipsters.
• Corporate personhood.

You claim that marriage is a union between one man and one woman. Fine. Have your sacred fucking union but give everyone the same rights afforded married couples. I’m pretty sure that a gay couple desiring power of attorney for each other in case of catastrophe is not going to destroy your sacred union.

Please spare me your religious diatribes about gays being abominations of God. I’ve read the Bible enough to know that Christians have no problem picking and choosing passages to suit their needs. Self-entitlement abounds in Christianity, and one need look no further than so-called Christians who gossip, lie, steal, abuse, and kill. I’m pretty sure that killing other human beings in the name of patriotism doesn’t provide a seat in Heaven.

In Washington, we residents may be passing a referendum that provides gay and lesbian couples the same rights as married couples with the exception of legal marriage. This has been called a “foot in the door” by a friend, but I call it step ’n fetchit. In the year 2009, everyone should have equal rights and no one should be voting on the rights of other citizens.

President Obama needs to end this bullshit policy of allowing states to vote on the issue of gay marriage and gay rights. If he could accept private donations from the LGBT community during his campaign, he sure as shit can put his foot down on states like Maine – and Washington – and declare that everyone gets the same amount of rights. Period. Until then, he sold out the LGBT community as badly as Maine did to its gay and lesbian couples.

So, Maine.

Fuck your lobsters.
Fuck your blueberries.
Fuck your L.L. Bean stores.
Fuck Stephen King.