Photolog
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Mark Allen
Hello it's Mark
Hi Mark it's James. thanks for taking time out for this impromptu IM interview
Hey what's up - don't put my IM name up puhleeze
not a problem. I'm just chatting with you. How are you feeling?
sure - afterwards i have to go to RiteAid and buy coffee, sleeping pills and razor blades. I feel fine - a little tired
sounds like one of my dates after a meet a guy for the first time. okay, I'll make this fast for you. Your site is horribly sick and twisted, how would you describe it to someone
Really? Why? It's therapy for me. That's it.
you should see the guys I've met and dated - oy.
Same here -
Cheaper than sitting on a couch. So what was your inspiration for the site?
Ummmm... I saw this guy called Rex in SF who had a cam site and I thought it was really cool so I made one for myself - originally I was just going to have a cam but I found I started attaching all this weird stuff to it - like "The Jar". I was looking at your site - it's very well done and very cryptic and confusing - I like it!
oh yes, I've been surfing around your site, very nicely understated and full of the Ripley's Believe It or Not. Thanks! I try to keep it fresh. How long have you had your site running?
Hahahahaha!!! Do you believe it? I think almost 2 years now
I always believe it, I myself know of the Math Man you saw outside Astor Place Barnes & Noble. why do you keep the site running after 2 years?
Oh you've seen him? Isn't he a trip? I'm about to add this thing about this good looking guy who sells drawings of mazes on Avenue A.
I haven't met him yet, I used to live off 4th St. The Math man I still don't understand, he hides from people taking photos of him.
Like I said - it's therapy - and therapy is important for someone like me - and the voies in my head. I will stop doing the site when it's no longer any fun. It's a great way to meet people!!! Like this for instance! He does!?!? Well thank God he wasn't around when I tried to take a picture of him - I had to draw him.
I know! I have a fan club in The Philippines, oddly enough.
Really??? That is odd enough!
do you prefer drawing over a digital camera? I rule the bizarre. So how has the therapy for the past 2 years helped you?
Oh I really like my digital camera - it's so cheap and instant. Do you have one?
I still use a 35mm and my polaroids. I'm old-fashioned like that, I enjoy the smell of chemicals too much.
Yes - I've actually discovered a lot about the behavior of OTHER people when they are expressing themselves on an anonymous medium like the web. It's very interesting. Really? Isn't that expensive? You have some great photos on your site
nah, not expensive at all. Not when you compare it to a meth addiction.
Hahahahahahaha!!! Are you addicted to the incorrect spelling of MATH???
How would you fit yourself into the anonymity of the web as a medium? Lord, I can't touch calculus anymore without praying for the apocalypse.
Well even though I have a cam and I kind of live certain parts of my life publicly - it's actually easy to be really NOT public about so many things. But people who contact me through my site - just viewers - can totally create these false personas. It's funny sometimes. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!! You're funny.
no no no YOU'RE funny
I was reading an article recently about how you can smoke crystal meth through a light bulb - is that true?
so what won't you make public about your life, aside from your IM handle? oh yes, the light bulb has a variety of wonderful uses. Thomas Edison be praised.
The child beatings, the anonymous phone calls to city hall, the incident with the white bear at central park zoo. And the shit bomb at the 34th street 4/5/6 line MTA station - that bitch didn't think she was so fierce then did she!?!?!?!?!?!??!?!
I knew that was you, it had your handiwork written all over that poor polar bear.
Shit bombs are great revenge on late night MTA booth workers. But he needed a voice!
not just shit bombs but speaking to them in hurried tongues, preferably Pentecostal. sure he did, you pervert. So how does massage figure into your world?
Actually I heard that poor bear at central park zoo is having mental problems. So he's PERFECT for a NYC zoo!!!! : ) I do massages for a living - it's good work and I actually enjoy it a lot.
The bear and half this city's population. Which came first, massage or 'therapy'?
Yes. But not me. I'm perfectly mental healthy. That question is confusing my brain. The egg! NO WAIT - the chicken! Right?
oh yes, aren't we all? Who knows, I forgot the question. Must've been the meth.
I can see you are!
I always thought it was obvious myself.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!! Are you smoking it while you are talking to me?
So how did massage fall into your lap as a talent?
That's hi-LAR-ee-us!
I should be, hold on and let me light up. I take it you don't smoke.
I got my certificate and liscense and all that in Texas and was walking around with it for all the years I was doing other stuff in NYC - then one day I was like "Why don't I do this for a while?" It really took off - I have a lot of customers now. No - Meth is too wimpy for me
so is it just 'massage' or are we talking a front for dirty porn sex? so you're originally from Texas I'm assuming? Accent? Thoughts of returning? Friend of Dubya?
No - it's strictly pro massage. I'm not a hustler. Yes - born and raised. I LOVE Texas - it's so dangerous and romantic and weird. It gave birth to George Bush Jr. and Anna Nicole Smith!!! I lost my accent. I would love to return to Texas one day. I am currently "cyberdating" a guy who lives in Austn. Austin.
The leader of all things corporate and greedy and a greedy bimbo...I can feel the coincidences rising. what kind of massage do you perform? How goes the cyberdating and how did you two meet?
And they will keep rising!!!! Like a blood tide! Shiatsu and reflexology (the feet)
Menstruation in the worst visual sense. Strong hands there for feet and shiatsu, how do you give yourself a rest from massage all day?
We both had cams and just kind of started talking. Then we had a date on cam - dinner and all - now we date on cam all the time - take baths on cam together - it's very funny.
a dinner on cam? what was served and who did the dishes? how long have you two cyberdated? any complications or fears?
My friend Gregory massages me sometimes as a "favor" - I relax by hooking up one of those machines they have at hospitals that electro shock people who's hearts have stopped. "CLEAR!!!" Ahhhhhh.... We both ordered out. We both did our own dishes - you have to do that on a cam cyber date where you live 100's of miles apart.
now that sounds like some of my other dates. delivery tips must be a bitch.
It's basically a long distance relationship. We both are surprised it has lasted this long - it fulfills something for us both - we don't know where it's going. I wonder where sometimes - it's great though. Actually I use one of those shock machines on all my massage clients! Keeps 'em coming back for more!!!!
Does it make you feel that you betrayed your homo brothers in this city who drool after you? I own one and thank God that Con Ed hasn't caught on to me draining the local power supplies.
Who's drooling now? You mean the retarted kids in wheelchairs? I saw a bunch of them in front of the hospital the other day being led by a nun. Gregory and I mugged them all - it was SOOOOO easy! Oh I know! You HAVE to sneak the wires into your neighbor's outlets. Damn retards.
I suppose it helps that they run slowly. I use the neighbor's supply two blocks down, it took a lot of cable to run underground for that to happen.
Always droolin and goin' "ya ya yoo ya"
So do you have any disabled clients you work on?
Hey wait! That's me!!! You're sucking on my powewr you thief!!! Not anymore I don't after they read this!!!!!!!
You weren't supposed to find out! Dammit, now I have to leave now before you report me.
Is not being able to grasp reality a disability?
not really, I've found that the disabled have a better grasp of reality than the rest of us. So how does your family feel about your site? Is your Mom your #1 fan? Are there t-shirts for sale?
Oh I'm sure we can make a deal. Give me some of your Met and I won't call the fuzz. I've got some retarted girls chained in the basement making babies for me and they need SOMETHING to keep the works alive!!! Black market babies. 40 Gs on the black market. Twice that if the eyes stay blue.
I feed mine radiator fluid to keep the green going.
My parents don't like it. My brother loves it. No t-shirts - I just couldn't do it - I make noise music and was thinking of getting a CD burner and maybe making custom CDs.
Brake fluid makes them drop like flies faster than a cheesecake disappearing at a Catholic cake walk.
Ohhhhh that is clever!
what kind of noise music is it? Are you into Muslimgauze?
HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! And we know how fast that goes!!!
like spam in a trailer park.
I think Muslimgauze is good. I like Merbow a lot more though - he's a real inspiration to me. He's a modern genius that I think is undervalued. HAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Merbow, dunno him. How can I get a sample of this for my repetoire?
Look on one of those Napster clones. They have his stuff at Other Music or Kim's - even tower I think. I reccommend "Pulse Demon" or "1930" - they are Japanese imports so they are kind of pricey.
mmm, imports. are you into anime as well?
Muslimgauze died recently right? Yes - but I couldn't tell you the names of any of the characters or aniumators or directors. But I do love it. I can't keep up with it all. I think "Bubblkegum Crisis" was the last thing I saw - that was FOREVER ago. I wanted to see Jin Roe at the Forum but the line was too long.
oh no! Don't say that! I loves me some Muslimgauze.
I just realized that you are going to have to edit out everywhere my name appears so forget about giving out my IM name - I don't care. I never have it on anyway.
I also love Sailor Moon, Chinatown is one of my favorite hangouts
Yes - he died last year. It's true.
no, I would change it, shush you. that's blasphemy, I refuse to believe it.
Oh I LOOOOVE Chinetown. Have you been to Sweet 'n Tart? You can order hairspray ice there! Yes - he died.
I usually go to Ten Ren's Tea Time for my black tapioca pearl drink for that, my friend Perrin turned me on to that.
Have you had that weird drink that's all the rage in Chinatown that has the "black pearls" floating in the bottom of it? That you suck up with a giant straw?
that's horrible that he died. How would you like to die? stop reading my mind, would you please?
Yes - I've tried it a few times.
I'll have to try the hairspray drink, do they serve AquaNet?
Hmmmmmmm... well I almost died from cancer once - and it gave me this really weird perspective on death. So I have to same I'm somewhere between undecided and psychoticly hysterical on that question. Yes - it's fruit on a bed of colored ice and the ice tastes like plutonium hairspray! It's true! It's vile! I order it constantly!
what kind of cancer and how was it treated? I must try this drink, I'm already drooling just thinking about it.
I had testicular cancer 5 years ago and it was really bad but they caught it in time - I'm OK now. I had chemotherapy - it was awful.
oh my god! Right out of 'Sex and The City'. How long did it take for everything to right itself out?
Yes! You can get the fruit on hairspray ice dessert at Tart 'n Sweet in Chinatown. Go with bed head - you'll leave looking fabolous!!!
I always have bed head, which is weird since I never seem to sleep. I always go for the Vietnamese food in the neighborhood. Any likes/dislikes for food since you're a Texan native?
It's still in the process of that. I learned a very important thing about my whole cancer experience. The saying that "What doesn't kill you will make you stronger" is not true - the truth is that "What doesn't kill you will fuck you up really bad and you'll be lucky if you ever get it together again" - that's the truth. People don't like to hear that though. They create fallacies like that for the same reason they create religon. When you embrace that you're damaged and wounded forever it's then that you become empowered and shut out the morons. I like falafels. Um... I love sushi. Hmmmm.... I like pizza.
so now we have an explanation behind the mentality of your site.
Well please - EXPLAIN it to ME SOMEBODY!!!!
it's simple: you're a fucked-up individual with talent that came to you after several horrible treatments of chemotherapy. duh.
really? Who knew? Then why is Lance Armstrong without a webcam? James I'm afraid I have to go get my coffee, razor blades and sleeping pills soon...
because he's dead or at least far removed from the web and playing with his 2,000 adopted babies.
I'm jonsing for that coffee with sleeping pills mixed in it and stirred with a Mach III razor blade!
okay, I'll let you get on with your night and remind myself to tell my date tomorrow to leave the razor blades at home. I bring my own, I learned the hard way.
Yes - he won that French bike race again. Did you know he's from the same town I grew up in? Plano, Texas?
All I have for local celebs are drunks and whores. My kind of people.
OK - it was fun chatting with you - and keep up the INTERESTING and GREAT work on your site. Hope to run into you one day .... in a car!!! Hahahahaha!!! Just kidding... Yes...drunk whores are the pillars of society
it was great to chat with you, thanks for taking the time to do this. have a great night, chat with you another time.
Bye James!
stop reminding me of past dates already! bye Mark!
Visit Mark at his web site and be sure to tell him I said ‘Hi’.